FOCUS ON FORGIVING

Posted on January 24, 2011 @ focusontheheart.org

You may be asking yourself, "How can I forgive?"

Paul said, "Ye ought rather to forgive him and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with too much sorrow. For this reason I beseech you that you would confirm your love toward him." ~2Corinthians 2:7-8

We all need mercy, because we all stumble and fall and require help getting back on track. We need to offer mercy to each other and be willing to receive it from each other. You can’t have fellowship without forgiveness because bitterness and resentment always destroy fellowship. Sometimes we hurt each other intentionally and sometimes unintentionally, but either way, it takes massive amounts of mercy and grace to create and maintain fellowship.

Again in the book of Colossians, the apostle Paul says, “Forbearing one another and forgiving one another, if any man has a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so should you do”. ~Colossians 3:13

The mercy God shows to us the motivation for us to show mercy to others. Whenever you’re hurt by someone, you have a choice to make: Will I use my energy and emotions for retaliation or for resolution? You can’t do both. Many people are reluctant to show mercy because they don’t understand the difference between trust and forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past. Trust has to do with future behavior. Forgiveness must be immediate, whether or not a person asks for it. Trust must be rebuilt over time. Trust requires a track record. If someone hurts you repeatedly, you are commanded by God to forgive them instantly, but you are not expected to trust them immediately, and you are not expected to continue allowing them to hurt you. They must prove they have changed over time.

The best place to restore trust is within the supportive context of a small group that offers both encouragement and accountability. Find a church or support group in your area and invite the person you are forgiving to go along. Selah.

"Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer every man." Colossians 4:6